It’s 4:43 AM and I’m so very ready for this round of treatment to be over. I was late on two of my doses by about two hours the first time and an hour the next time. This means I get to take my last dose at… 5:00 PM tonight, right when my shift starts. I hope I’ll be okay ;~; maybe I’ll just go for a four day chelation period this time, all the way until the morning after work on 05/20. I might do that. I’m not deathly ill, but I’m ill and ornery about it >:V
Over time, I developed this self-healing mechanism that basically made me forget all the good times and hold on to the bad ones to numb the pain and bitterness of promises broken. Before I knew it, whatever happened between us wasn’t even a beautiful tragedy. It was just a tragedy – a tragedy that never should have happened…
…It was a mixture of bad timing and ill fate. It wasn’t one of us or both of us. It was circumstances. Circumstances made us turn against each other and turned us into ugly beings we were not. I told myself we should have known better, we should have known. We weren’t bad people, we were scared and we were young and naïve.
I blamed it for causing all the bad stuff, for making us look bad.
Splitting Up, by Anonymous.
Excerpt Source: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/splitting/
I didn’t write this, though it’s almost like I did. I would have written this eighteen months ago. For eighteen months, I’ve been tapping my foot waiting for real contact from her, while my ex still figures things out. She’ll keep running until she gets tired of it, or she loses her way :3
Great to know! I’ll be on the lookout for the event quest! I guess a massive Rust Duramboros is the closest they could get to having a monster look like a titan, haha.
ATTACK ON HUMPS
Just had a three day break from all chelating substances. I just started my next 72 hour round of treatment. One minute ago, I took my first of twenty-four Alpha Lipoic Acid 300 mg capsules, one capsule every three hours, including while I try to sleep.
For the past three days, I’ve been resting up and doing my best to feel out the changes in my body. The first day was rough, but I didn’t need to medicate much. I was mostly stressed about having NO money (which I’m in the negative right now, but I’m getting paid well tonight <3), so I worked on what I do best over the weekend: Playing games, visits friends, cleaning my house, cuddling with the kitty, and clearing a couple of outstanding chores.
Now, note that I’ve had a definite lack of concentration for the past few years. It’s been harder and harder for me to sit down and read a book for more than a few pages without falling asleep. Or my eyes dart all over the page and I can’t keep my eyes focused on the sentences in front of me. Heck, I used to be a big fighting game player back in the day, and I would practice games in training mode for hours while I figured out new setups, combos, and crazy stuff for my characters. But in the past few years, my gaming experiences have been whittled down to a few titles like Shootmania, Bloodline Champions, Monster Hunter, and Demon’s / Dark Souls. I haven’t broadened my horizons. They have shrunk. And that’s something that doesn’t sit well with me. I have some personal reasons to not subscribe to a lot of the current hype over video games, but in truth, I’m dodging my responsibilities as an awesome dude by not at least exploring for more titles that really suit my fancy.
Or maybe it’s because I don’t need anything else now that I have Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate. Hmm.
But that’s not it. This topic ties into the mercury chelation because mercury has been the main factor in my loss of creativity, and it’s destroyed my ability to learn. I haven’t played fighting games or picked up my guitar or keyboard in a while because, well, every time I do, I get exhausted after 5-15 minutes after learning just a thing or two. My mind then feels overwhelmed, and my motivation gets squashed. I’ve felt flattened for years now. It’s even possible that mercury influenced me not have been able to rise up and fight for the person I really wanted to be with two years ago. But instead of just speculating, I’m chasing results. My goal is to get better in all ways, physically and mentally, so that I can safely feel that if I were to get approached, or if I were to approach someone… we could really hit it off :D
So on Tuesday from about midnight to 5:30 AM, I was in training mode. I was playing Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3. I was teaching myself combos and setups with my Firebrand-SuperSkrull-DrDoom team for over five hours. I didn’t really medicate myself to make it happen, either. I just sat down, built muscle memory, learned setup intricacies… ahh, it was great. And afterwards, I wasn’t exhausted or anything. I felt invigorated and looked forward to next time. The real payoff was visiting a friend’s house and fighting Bobby, who usually wrecks me pretty hard. As in, I win one in every five games if I’m LUCKY. This time, with one night of knowledge put into practice… I played 84 games against Bobby, winning 34 games to his 50. Winning a solid 2/5ths of my games against a player that destroys me is… well, it’s very promising :D
So because of this, these are a few signs that my mental issues are clearing up. They have been sloooowly getting a little better for the past, um, six months? But I’m definitely not running at full capacity just yet. I imagine that after three months / twelve weeks of chelation treatment, I should really feel the difference. In the mean time, I’m taking some supplements to keep my body going: L-Glutamine, inc, Magnesium, Copper, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C - 1000 mg, Vitamin B-Complex, Milk Thistle Extract, and a probiotic. There might be more, but I can’t think of them :3
Welp, back to work. No mercury symptoms yet after taking the ALA. I’ve been tapping at this post off and on for a while, so I only have 80 minutes until my next dose. ONWARD.